But what will you do in the end?
“What will you do in the end?” -Prophet Jeremiah, (Jeremiah 4:31)
I have been following Jesus for a little over 10 years now. Those 10 years have been very far from perfect, but they have been the best 10 years of my life. I have had the mountain top moments. The day my brother said yes to following Jesus after praying for him for over 8 years and then, the day where I married the man of my dreams. The first time I was ever invited as a guest speaker to share with people about the goodness of God in my life. The moments where I prayed for students to see God as real and then watched as they fell to the altar as God began to reveal Himself to them. These are all my mountain top moments, ones I play over and over in my head in humble astonishment at the goodness of God.
I have also had the lowest of valley experiences. The time when I ended an engagement 3 months before a wedding. Last Christmas when my mom texted me, "I do not want to see you today." Lonely moments where I have felt misunderstood and not seen by the people who are closest to me. Heartbroken as people I admire speak ugly, sharp, pointed words intended to tear me down. Times where attacks came, one after the other, and I felt abandoned by God altogether. Times where my own sinful actions resulted in heartbreak and I had no one to blame but myself.
And at this moment, 10 years of seeking Jesus every day, I am equal parts heartbroken and angry. I am angry that I spent 17 years without God because His "followers" often don’t care enough to share Him. I am angry at myself, for all the time I've wasted on frivolous and shallow things that do nothing to build the Kingdom of God. I am angry at the "Church" for being lukewarm and cowardly. I am angry that I have wasted a minute trying to convince myself I wasn't worthy of the calling that God has placed on my life.
I am heartbroken. I weep when I think of how far I've gone from the One who loves me most. I am heartbroken when I look into the eyes of teenage girls and grown women only to find insecurity and fear. I am heartbroken that the "Church" has largely turned into a divided, weak display of God. I am heartbroken at how often we get it wrong or manipulate the Gospel to fit our needs. I am heartbroken when I see people who claim to follow Christ, yet remain unchanged by His power and love. I am broken that the miracle of the Cross means almost nothing to us in our every day lives.
And I'm not alone in these feelings. I have been studying Jeremiah in-depth and through prayer. It has been like reading words from a close friend who just seems to get it. He felt all the things I do and more. This is probably where I should note: I completely understand the context of when and where and for whom Jeremiah was written. However, I would be ignorant to not recognize the similarities of Israel's behavior and the Church today. We are exactly alike and we are in danger.
What I want to say to you is a reflection of Jeremiah's words in Chapter 4: "But what will you do in the end?"
If we look, talk, act, and reflect things that are not of God, what will we do in the end when we meet Him face to face? If we continue to worship our phone and ourselves, what will we do in the end when He says He never knew us? If we continue to treat God as a buffet, only picking the parts that we want, what will we do in the end when we meet Him in His entirety? If we don't share God, ALL OF GOD, with our family, friends, and strangers, then what we will do in the end when it is too late for them? If we don't tell people about His love and His justice, what happens in the end when we face both? If we continue to have a shallow relationship with God, what happens at the end when He says "depart from Me, I never knew you?"
The Cross does not excuse our willful ignorance of Scripture. It is not a free pass to have a shallow relationship with God. I am sick and tired and angry and heartbroken that Christians do not understand WHO GOD IS. He is love AND judgement. He is mercy AND justice. He is not one or the other.
And through the Holy Spirit, through Jesus' death and resurrection, we have access to that same power and victory! Here's a news flash: nobody wants the weak, pat-you-on-the-back, cheerleader, accept everything, and applaud you for trying version of Jesus. NOBODY. That kind of Jesus is a poor representation of everything God tells us in the Bible. Allowing people to be comfortable living in ways that pull them away from the very God that created them is NOT love. Watching as sin destroys families and friends and neighbors and our kids is NOT love. Allowing pornography, hate, division, gossip, addiction, and immorality to keep people captive is NOT love. And to not speak up for the character of God because you don't want to "offend" someone is cowardly, but it's even worse to just not know who He is because you don't care enough to find out.
If you only claim to be a Christian when it suits your needs, when it is comfortable for you, when it makes your life easier, what will you do in the end when you realize God wanted ALL of you, not 20%?
